No Energy Wasted

When I was a kid my mom was a stickler for turning off unnecessary lights in the house. She said having on so many lights uses up more energy which in turn made the bill unnecessarily higher. Well just like my mom and so many parents around the United States didn’t want us using unnecessary energy, we should continue to follow the rule our parents taught us but in a different way.

Preserving energy is important and as adults we need to do the same but with our own energy, and I don’t mean electricity. I mean your physical energy. We allow people to come into our spaces or call us on the phone with their drama and suck the energy out of us. Which sometimes leave us too drained to do what we need to do for ourselves or our household. Our energy is a valuable commodity and we must treat it as such. I mean your electric company doesn’t allow you to use electricity for free, why do we allow others to use our energy for free?

There are only 24 hours in a day and we need as much energy as we can get to make sure that we get the things done that are a priority. I want you to think about it like a bank account, if you have 24 dollars in the bank you can’t spend 40 or you’ll be overdrawn. Just as if your bank account is overdrawn you have to use tomorrows funds to pay for what you already used in the past, the same is true for your energy. When we allow others to cause us to be overdrawn in energy we don’t have the energy we need to do what is coming in the future, because we have exhausted ourselves to the point that we have to recuperate to get our energy level back to its normal state. So essentially we have used today’s energy yesterday, because we didn’t prioritize properly.

If we want to continue to grow in confidence it’s a must that we learn how to set boundaries and have no energy wasted. As I said before my mom was a stickler for preserving energy and she still is, she unplugs everything in the house that isn’t in use, as she says that current is still being transmitted when it’s plugged in. So just as my mom unplugs any electrical device not in use, it’s a good idea for us to do the same. If gossip, your co-workers or family members latest dilemma isn’t useful to you and I’m sure it isn’t(if something is useful it causes growth or assists you to be better) then you need to unplug from it. When I say unplug that could mean to walk away from the conversation, end the conversation, not answer the phone and maybe even distance yourself from that person. We never want to be in a constant state of being overdrawn in energy, and if you are it’s absolutely necessary to self assess and make the adjustments so that you can get back to normal.

Our energy is way too valuable to use it for what’s not a priority in our lives. For some this may be difficult as it’s what you’re used to, but change and getting uncomfortable is a part of growth. Though it may be difficult when you see the results it will definitely be worth it. Start preserving your energy today, I know you have what it takes. As always, you are a Worthy Woman.

Imagine

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; If you can dream it, you can become it.

-Unknown

When was the last time that you sat down, closed your eyes and just imagined? Imagined what could be, thought of all the possibilities and took the limits off?

For many people when they were children, they imagined to the fullest but as we grew up, and start to experience life we imagine less and less. For some reason we lose or allow our childlike belief to become buried with the negative side of what if, but let me ask you this. What if you imagine and dream on a positive note and it does work out and you do succeed? What if you aren’t a failure and you are successful beyond your wildest dreams?

I think in life we get so conditioned to focus on the negative what if’s, that the use of imagination and going after our dreams can sometimes seems irresponsible in some people’s eyes. I believe it’s because we think that as adults we have to just do what needs to be done and enjoying what we do somehow seems childish. Though I know as children we think of some of the wildest things and some of those things should probably be dismissed, but a lot of those things that we imagine and dream of as children could cause us to be successful and genuinely happy beyond our wildest dreams.

We need to get back to imagining and having those moments of childlike faith and dreams. This makes me think about when my son was three years old, he wanted to have a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese, and he began to invite people to his party. I told him that he was not having a party so stop inviting people, but in his heart this is what he wanted and he was only three, he didn’t understand or think if mommy can’t or won’t do it then I won’t imagine or dream for it. No, he kept believing and imagining and guess what even though I couldn’t give him the party, that doesn’t mean he didn’t have it. He actually did have the party, someone ended up paying for him to have this party because they saw that his faith and imagination. That was actually one of the biggest parties he has ever had, and to this day we still talk about it, but what if he had given up on the party when I told him no, or when he didn’t see how it could happen? I would never be telling you about this story and we wouldn’t have that memory of him as a child to share.

I challenge you today to take some time and just begin to think about the dreams you had as a child or if you don’t remember any of those dreams begin to imagine in the present. Imagine all of the possibilities and ignore the negative what if’s that many times come up when we dream big. Imagining and dreaming big isn’t only for children, what if Steve Jobs or Walt Disney hadn’t imagined? We may have never known what FaceTime is and so many families would not have the precious memories of vacationing at Disneyland or Disney World. So take some time this week(make it a priority) and just dream and imagine, and when that negative voice tries to appear, you speak up and say but what if this is possible and what if I can succeed? Don’t focus on the negative because as Eric Thomas says “Where your focus goes your energy flows” and if that’s not where you’re trying to go don’t allow your thoughts to go there. As worthy women we were born to dream, born for a purpose and it won’t just come to us because we want it we have to go after it. So let’s do this! Imagine!! As always you are a Worthy Woman!

Am I Good Enough?

Am I good enough?

It’s an age old question and I think it’s time to look at it from a different point of view.

In my opinion the am I good enough question comes from a place of being accepted, but to be honest from an acceptance point of view, no one will ever be good enough. There will always be someone who won’t like or accept you for some reason or another. Not because of something you’ve done, it could be preference or just plain old ignorance but whatever the reason it’s not the end all be all to the answer. I mean (we should never give someone the ability to hold so much weight to determine something so great, even those who are supposed to be for us such as a parent or spouse.

Though I know it’s easier said than done we, must begin to see ourselves in a different light. I’m learning that one main key to doing this is how I speak to myself. Many times it’s not the words or thoughts of others who instills in us that we aren’t good enough, it’s the lies we’ve believed from our inner voice. Don’t get me wrong there are times when the inner voice has picked up on things that were spoken to you over and over again by someone else, but we have to learn silence those voices, whether from someone else or our own inner voice as well.

The point of view that I really want to focus on regarding this is that of our heavenly father. If we look at this question from His view, the answer to the question “Am I Good Enough” is emphatically yes. You see the good book says “We are made in the image and likeness of God”(Gen 1:27a), and because He is good enough we are good enough. We just have to start believing in His word more than we believe in the words of people who may have said we aren’t good enough. As my mother used to say when I was little, “they don’t have a heaven or a hell to put you in”. So trust the one who does and if being made in the image and likeness of God isn’t enough to convince you, the fact that He sent his son to die on the cross for you is the end all be all answer to this question. So the next time you begin to question whether you are good enough instead of making it a question “Am I Good Enough?” make it a statement “I Am Good Enough!!. When you say it, say it like you mean it because it’s true. You really are good enough! As always remember you are a Worthy Woman!

I Gave Up Negotiating

Let me ask you a question, what are you willing to give up to keep your confidence?

I’ve learned that in order to gain, you sometimes have to give up something. Well for me that something was negotiating. I stopped negotiating my happiness, peace and confidence for the happiness, peace and confidence of others. I did that by establishing non negotiables in my life. For me that was a game changer in rebuilding my confidence.

You see I had to know what I wanted for my life in order to know what I didn’t want and wasn’t willing to accept. Knowing what you won’t accept is key to establishing non negotiables. So what is it that you will no longer accept to gain or rebuild your confidence?

For me when I first started the non negotiable process I wasn’t really truthful with myself because I was low key still trying to please everyone else. One day I was fed up with apologizing for my likes and dislikes and I made a decision to be the authentic me. That didn’t mean being rude or making excuses for any traits that needed to be worked on, but it meant to be unapologetic about who I truly am. No longer living life on the terms of others and who I was expected to be, just simply being who I am created to be.

I have learned that in order to get something different you have to do something different, which isn’t always as easy as it sounds. It will take hard work and commitment to maintain the change, but in the end what you gave up will more than likely be well worth what you gain. As long as you are holding on to what is, it’s hard to move forward to what can be. For that reason I am no longer a negotiator when it comes to my non negotiables. My peace, confidence and energy are off limits to negotiations. They are just too important to leave them up for grabs by negotiating for them. So what will you give up to keep your confidence? Share it with us in the comments.

You have it in you to give up what’s necessary to keep and maintain your confidence. As always remember You Are A Worthy Woman!

I Broke The Tradition

On the journey to becoming a more confident woman, sometimes we have to let go of the traditions from our past.

I learned this many years ago when I was married. It’s always been a tradition to have large meals and invite everyone over for the holiday. Well this particular time it was my turn to carry on the tradition. I had to, right, because that’s what everyone has always done, or did I? Well I followed along with the tradition, but it didn’t turn out quite like I had hoped. You see I had never made a turkey before and this was my chance to show everyone what I was made of. Well needless to say, if I remember correctly we had baked chicken wings that thanksgiving because the turkey never got done. I was trying so hard  to keep the tradition of my family that I was a total wreck and didn’t really enjoy the day at all.

Many times in life we proceed with the traditions of who ever it may be and in the process have our confidence zapped because it doesn’t turn out the way we planned and definitely not the way it’s traditionally done, but so what. It’s at a moment like that when I decided to break the tradition for the sake of my peace and confidence and do what was best for me and my household. I started cooking a regular dinner for holidays and if I did invite people over I only cooked what I knew how to cook well, not according to the holiday or family traditions.

Being or becoming a confident woman we have to know what works for us and have the courage to make adjustments to the things that aren’t working in our lives. Confidence that even if momma and grandma did it, doesn’t mean you have to follow along if it doesn’t work well for you. I heard this story about a lady who always cut the ends off of her ham before cooking it, and her husband asked why she did that. She told him she did it because that’s what her mother did. She asked her mom why she cut the ends off the ham and her mom told her because that’s what her mom did. Her mom was curious so she asked her mom why she cut the ends off of the ham. Her mom told her she cut the ends off the ham because her pot was too small.

When I first heard that story it really got me to thinking. Just because our parents and grandparents have done something, really doesn’t mean it’s right for us to do. Especially when we think we’re doing something out of tradition, when really it may not be a tradition at all. So ladies please spare yourself the stress of trying to keep family traditions especially when it costs you peace and lowers your confidence. With Christmas fast approaching I challenge you to evaluate the things that you do in your life out of tradition that really doesn’t work for you and costs you your peace and confidence and create your own traditions. Traditions that work for you. As always remember you are a Worthy Woman.

You’re Stronger Than You Think

I remember when I first became a single mom. I had no idea how I would handle parenting on my own. After the initial shock, I didn’t think about it much I just did it, by taking just one step at a time. That’s not to say some of the things I had to do weren’t difficult, because they were, but they had to be done.

In life we face many difficult challenges that sometimes seems impossible to get through, but let me encourage you. Whatever you may be facing today, you have what it takes to overcome this challenge. Whether the challenge is big or small, you possess the strength to make it through. You see, when challenges come in life sometimes our first reaction is “I can’t do this” or “how am I going to make it through this”?

Being a woman of faith I’ve learned that I don’t have to face challenges alone and neither do you. You see with God on your side there isn’t anything you can’t do. Sure in beginning the challenge may be tough and you may doubt your strength, but let me tell you, you are stronger than you think! As women(at least some of the women I know) we down play ourselves way too much. You see when God created you, He put within you everything you need to get through the challenges you face in life. Whether the challenge is being a single parent, a failing marriage, your finances, health or even rocky family relationships, you can overcome the challenge. There is a quote that reminds me of this, it says, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have”. Think about it like that, being strong is the only choice you have at the moment. Losing and quitting is not an option, besides you are stronger than the struggle anyway. So stand up and stare that challenge in the face and declare “I am strong and I will get through this”!!

I believe in you and as always remember you are a Worthy Woman.

The Storms of Life

There are many times in life when storms come into our lives to keep us from getting to a specific destination. It’s at those times that we must keep pressing toward what it is we’ve set out to accomplish. Once we reach that destination we will be glad we stayed determined to win the fight. This week I wanted to share with you a guest post that I wrote for Blogs by Christian Women where I go in depth regarding the storms of life. The article is titled:

WHAT IS THE STORM TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM?

I think it’s safe to say that we have all been through a storm or two in our lives. Storms that tried to break us and steal our faith. Over the last year or so I have been getting a recurrence of hearing different people talking about the storm that…… click here to read the article 

Take Care of Yourself Like You’d Take Care of Them

On a scale of 1-10 how well do you take care of those you love? Ok, well let me ask you this, On a scale from 1-10 how well do you take care of yourself?

When it comes to taking care of those we love we go to great lengths to do our best at it. Making sure they have everything they need, taking time with them, making sure they take as proper care of themselves as they can and so on. That’s awesome that we are able to do that for them but do you do that for yourself? As women we pour so much into the lives of others that many times we neglect to pour into ourselves.

For the past few months I have seen a recurring theme around the communities I am involved in and that theme in a nutshell is giving from the overflow. We first have to be filled before we can give of ourselves to others. To operate or give to others when you are on empty is extremely draining, yet so many of us are constantly operating this way. Let’s look at the age old example of the instructions given to passengers preparing to take a flight. The instruction is if the plane malfunctions and is possibly going to crash, you are to first put on your oxygen mask and then go help others. You see you can’t help someone else if you aren’t first breathing. The same goes for taking care of others. To be able to continuously take care of others properly you must first take care of you.

Taking care of you by getting the proper rest, having some quiet time alone to do what you enjoy, eating properly not just whatever you can whenever you remember. When I say this I am totaling speaking to myself as well. As a single mom I am guilty of this more often than I’d like to be, but I am working on my commitment to make a change in this area. When my son has an appointment or needs something I am Johnny on the spot to make sure he is there or that I am getting what he needs. When it’s an appointment for me or I need something I’m not so quick to do the same, but I know that in order to continue to take care of him properly I have to do exactly what I am telling you all to do. So I commit to being intentional on taking care of myself better and making me a priority and giving from the overflow. This includes taking quiet time for myself, doing some form of self care daily, and simply pouring into me with as much effort as I do into others.

For some reason as I finished that sentence, I thought about those who think this may be selfish, but actually not taking care of you is selfish. Because as I stated before when we don’t take care of ourselves we become depleted and worn out and it’s so difficult to give someone your very best, if you aren’t at your best. So the next time you think you are being selfish because you are doing something for you, don’t. Remind yourself that you are doing this to be unselfish. I know it will take some getting used to but it will be worth the change when we see in ourselves and perhaps our health positive progress. Just making small changes makes all the difference. Let me know all the success you have with giving from the overflow, I’ll be excited to hear from you.
As always remember, You are a Worthy Woman!

There’s Enough Room For Us All

When you’re in the grocery store and you’re walking down the bread aisle or even the pop isle isn’t it great to know you have options? I mean there are well over 50 brands of bread and as for soft drinks the list seems endless. Just as every brand of bread or pop doesn’t fit the preferences of each person the same goes for whatever gift you have or business you are running. Are you gifted or talented at something but the fact that someone else is doing the same thing make you hesitant to do what it is that you love?

I look at it like this, what if we only had one cell phone company to choose from or better yet one type of residence to live in no matter the size or desires of your family. That would make everyone’s life a bit cookie cutter. We have a buffet if you will of choices when it comes to living preferences and cell phone companies. There is different strokes for different folks, so why is it any difference in you using your gift. Let’s not keep the comparison trap from holding us back from using our gifts. There are millions of people on the planet and when God made one writer, speaker or seamstress he didn’t stop at just one. He made multiple to fit the different needs of the different consumers. The way you write, speak or sew, may be totally different than the way someone else in your field does it, and that’s ok. Don’t let that hinder you from moving, you keep using your gift and use it to the best of your ability, just the way you do it. I mean of course you should always be practicing your craft to get better at it, but keep your own style don’t try to be a duplicate of someone else and their business.

There is always room to get advice from others in your field and maybe even collaborate at times, but don’t for one minute think that you can’t move forward because someone else is in the same field that you are in. Just as a woman would like to have choices when it comes to the type of guy she chooses to spend the rest of her life with, the millions of consumers in the world likes options too. There is and will always be enough room for us all no matter what your field is. The next time you get a bit discouraged about making moves because there are many people in your field, take a look down the toilet paper, bread or soft drink aisle, and the plenty of choices you have to choose from and say to yourself “There is room for me”! As always remember You Are a Worthy Woman!

The Importance Of A Rest Day

Have you ever had those weeks where you are so busy that you can barely hear yourself think? I know I have more of those weeks than I care to admit. Then there are times when I seem to have clusters of those types of weeks at one time. Days where it seems that no rest is in sight. Though those types of weeks are ok periodically, if it’s out of the norm not to have them then it’s probably time to adjust some things. I’ve learned the hard way that if you don’t take rest, your body will take one for you. When I say that I know it sounds cliché, but really your body will take it’s own rest if you don’t take rest on your own. Trust me I know.

This is really something that I am working on incorporating into my life, and if you don’t currently get rest often, I suggest you do the same. As women we need to really make self-care a priority. Resting is definitely a good form of self-care in my opinion. Not only resting our bodies but resting our minds. It’s so refreshing, and it’s like hitting the reset button. Take some time to just relax, watch a movie, go for a walk long walk and just enjoy the scenery. If none of those things are relaxing or restful to you, take your pick on what is relaxing and restful to you. Is it having a sit down dinner with your family, taking a long hot bubble bath or maybe even curling up with a journal and writing to your heart’s content. Whatever it is that relaxes you, do that and hit your own reset button.

So how does one begin to break the habit of extreme busyness? Well if you’re a busy body like me, this could be a hard task. I came up with a few different ideas that may help you and I, get into the new habit of taking some time to rest. The first idea is to choose a day of the week that works for you where you can clear your calendar and take some well deserved you time or family time(but if you take family time be sure the also get some you time as well). This doesn’t have to be a day where you do absolutely nothing, but my goal is to reserve the day to do what relaxes me. If it  feels like work, then my relax day is not the day that I’ll be doing it. When you are so used to being busy this may take some getting use to, but just do it anyway. The more relaxed and refreshed you feel after each time you do it, should you make want to keep this high on your priority list or even make it a non negotiable in your life.

If you aren’t able to take a full day to rest take then take a few hours. Block out some time and schedule this as an appointment on your calendar. Don’t schedule anything else during this time. Treat this appointment with yourself, as you would an important doctor’s appointment or a business meeting at work. Just as you would do everything you could not to cancel or reschedule those type of appointments, do the same with your rest appointment. Make it a priority!

For those who aren’t able to take a few hours because of your caregiver duties or whatever the case may be. I suggest that you take a minimum of 30 minutes everyday just for you. Some time to clear your mind and relax and do something that’s just for you. Since you are only able to take a little time each day, I really recommend that this time be non negotiable on your calendar. Making it non negotiable will allow you to make sure it’s done daily and gives you some sort of rejuvenation.

Taking time for ourselves is not selfish at all, I actually think taking me time is a selfless act. It not only allows you to reset, it’s also beneficial for those you care for or interact with often. I find that when we don’t get any kind of time for ourselves it can make us irritable and it is definitely draining. So even if a full day of rest isn’t possible take some time each day just for you, to get some rest. It’s not just for you but for those you love as well. As always remember you are a Worthy Woman!