The Power of a Promise

 

Have you ever made a promise to yourself but for whatever reason you didn’t keep it?

If so, don’t feel too bad you aren’t alone. I know that’s something that I am working on getting stronger at. This is an idea that if grasped and put into practice could really change your life. You see we make and go out of our way to keep promises for others but when it comes to keeping them for ourselves we don’t put in the same effort.

Think about it like this. When you were a kid or even now and someone promises you they are going to do something, and they always come up with an excuse as to why they aren’t able to keep their promise. After so many times of them breaking their promises you stop believing them. Well that’s kind of what we do to ourselves every time we make a promise to ourselves and don’t keep it.

It’s like this thing my son is always talking about in basketball called muscle memory. Which is essentially doing the same repetition over and over until you can do it by memory or it’s second nature. So every time we give an excuse and break a promise to ourselves we are in training. We are training our minds that excuses are ok. Don’t get me wrong I know we don’t intentionally break promises.  It’s because we don’t have time, are exhausted, over committed or just simply don’t feel like doing it. Just think of what would happen if you made your promises and kept them. How much would you accomplish and where would your life be. Would you have lost that weight, would you be debt free, would your business be up and running? What is it that your excuses and promise breaking have been keeping you from?

I know for me I would be so much farther along had I kept the promises I made to myself, but let’s not focus on the past and what we didn’t do. Let’s focus on the future and where we’re going to, and make a commitment to keep the promises we make going forward. The way we do that is by:

1. Making realistic promises– No I don’t mean making promises out of fear either, you know the ones you make because you are afraid of what might or might not happen if you give your all, or those driven by those negative what if statements. I mean making heartfelt promises that are going to get you to being your best self.

2. Being committed to the promise– Be committed that you are going to keep the promise by all means. So that means being too tired, over committed or not feeling like it is out of the question. The way that I am learning to get over this is by doing the thing I promised first, if possible. If it’s a promise that requires a throughout the day commitment, maybe getting an accountability partner would be helpful. The way to tackle over commitment is to simply learn how to say no, or start using a calendar. For those who have a real problem saying no using that calendar will hopefully be an easier way to say no, because you can’t give something you don’t have. If your calendar is too full or the appointment time is already taken you just won’t be able to do it. As for not feeling like it, you’ll just have to get over it and do it anyway. Your feelings have nothing to do with this. Your feelings won’t get you to your goal but your consistent actions will.

3. Knowing the outcome of the promise– Knowing that keeping our promises are going to get us to an expected outcome in our lives is a great motivation. It’s the reward at the end of the journey, and on the days when it gets hard and you don’t see the end in sight. Remember why you started and keep going. Keeping the outcome before you as a reminder is also a good source of motivation. Keeping the promise may not be easy but it will be worth it. Not only will you gain your reward you gain the building of your integrity by learning to keep your word to yourself, and in my opinion that’s a reward in itself.

So what promise will you commit to making and keeping? You have it in you to succeed. Always remember you are a Worthy Woman!

 

What If…

 

What if, is a question that sometimes haunts our lives and keeps us from making progress, sometimes for years. You may have a dream or goal that you want to achieve but the paralysis of analysis or this famous phrase “what if” comes up . You think to yourself I want to go after this dream, I have what it takes to succeed, I can help so many people. Then the negative thoughts begin to set in and you question everything you just said. What if I don’t succeed at reaching my dream, what if no one is helped by my product or services, what if , what if, what if….

Let me ask you this, what if you do reach your dream? What if you do succeed, what if you have so many customers that you need to hire a staff? What if you are successful beyond your wildest dreams? What if….those are some awesome what if’s, aren’t they?. Those are the kind of what if’s that make you doubt those negative what if’s. You see, your will to succeed has to be stronger than the comfort of staying the same. Trust me I know that it’s easier said than done and when you have focused so much on what could go wrong it’s difficult to make the shift to what could go right. This has to be done with great intention and determination, because for some reason when you make a declaration that you are going after a goal or dream it seems that opposition comes to see how bad you want it and tries to get you to revert back to normal(the you that only thought about your dream but never pursued it.)

When the opposition comes, and it will don’t shrink back confront it head on and show it who you are. That fearless, determined and successful person you are. Go harder after your dream at this point, make that opposition and that negative what if your motivation to succeed. I find that talking to the chatter of the negative what if helps to bring me back to the positive what if. Affirmations can be powerful and life changing as our words have power. So the next time those negative what if’s come to give you a run for your money speak to them. Here are a few examples to get you started:

  • I have what it takes to succeed.
  • I am worthy of my dreams and goals
  • I deserve the best and I attract the best
  • I do what is necessary to succeed not what makes me comfortable
  • I help many people in the world by succeeding at my dreams

Keep these affirmations handy or create some of your own, but don’t allow the negative what if’s to overtake the positive what ifs. You have what it takes to succeed. Remember you are a Worthy Woman.

Not Just A

Years ago when my son was small I would go places and meet new people, and they would ask me “what do you do”? My famous answer was “I’m just a mom”. I guess I would give that answer because I didn’t feel that being only a mom was much. Of course after many years of being a mom my perspective has changed. I would hear other people say “I’m just a mom” and see by their tone & facial expression that some of them thought how I used to think. It’s funny how when you see someone else doing something you do or have done, you gain a new perspective. Now I know being a mom is one of the most important roles I will ever have, but it was a learning process. After learning the importance of this role I haven’t used those words in years, but I was in the store the other day and I heard a lady say a “I’m just a” statement and it sparked something in me.

She actually said “I’m just a weirdo” and I told her no you’re not a weirdo, you’re just being helpful. I saw the look on her face and could almost feel her shame or her agreeing with what others have said about or to her. Which brings me to my point. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a mom, an attorney or even a sanitation worker the words “I’m just a” should not be in your vocabulary. Whatever it is that you do is important and so are you. You are not defined by your title, you have a place in this world and you matter. So the next time you use the word “I’m just a” correct yourself and say “I’m a”. When you use the phrase “I’m just a” it really down plays what proceeds those words. It makes it seems as though what you are isn’t important and that is far from the truth. Every title or position has a place of importance in the world to make it function. Just think what the world would be like if we didn’t have moms, workers in the restaurant or retail industry or even those who work in sanitation. The world would be unorganized, unruly, hungry and probably smelly.

I’m extremely thankful that we do all have our unique gifts, talents and purpose to contribute to the world to make it go round. Whatever it is that you are or do, do it with confidence, hold your head high and be proud of your contribution. For those who don’t appreciate or talk down on your contribution don’t allow their opinion to become your truth. Shake off their comments like water off the back of a duck and keep it moving. Don’t dwell on it or give it much thought or any thought for that matter. You are a success going somewhere to succeed, and if necessary look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of this everyday. It’s an exercise that can change your life because your words matter. As always remember, you are a Worthy Woman!

Perfection Not Required

“Don’t allow perfect to get in the way of done”-Glen Twiddle.

How many times have you started working on a project or getting dressed for an event that you set out for perfection?

Well for an introverted planning to do list having a girl like me, the answer is always. I mean who wants to do a task and it not be perfect and no woman definitely wants to leave the house for an event & she’s not dressed to perfection in her eyes. Well how many times has that perfection gotten in the way of doing the project at all? Dare I ask how many events you missed because perfection in your hair, clothes or makeup wasn’t possible? I mean what the point of perfection anyway. The way I look at it, if you’re always perfect it doesn’t leave much room for growth, not to mention the stress that’s caused by trying to make everything perfect.

Actually sometimes trying to create perfection causes procrastination. You know that paralysis of analysis. Trying so hard to make it perfect that nothing actually gets done. If anyone can relate to this I can, but I’m learning that as long as it’s the best that I can do, it’s ok. The more you practice a thing it gets better anyway. Mastery will come but in the meantime let’s focus on doing whatever it is you do the best you can do it. Not going after perfection but doing your best. I know you have it in you, because you are a worthy woman.

The Definition of a Worthy Woman

Several years ago when I first started this blog I was so gungho to make a difference in the lives of women around the world or at minimum in my state. Then I got this feeling of who am I to teach women about worth what do I know, so my blog post became more intermittent and then came to a screeching halt.

I let the thoughts of who wants to listen to me drown out the fact that someone needed what I had to offer. I had to regroup and remind myself that of what worthy is and I’d like to share it with you.

First let me say that worthy is not perfect. To be considered worthy you don’t have to know it all or have everything about you and your life figured out. Worth is not defined by marital status, financial status, educational status or even parental status. The definition of worthy according to the Webster dictionary is:

1 a : having worth or value :

2 : having sufficient worth or importance

Your worth is not defined by what others think or feel about you, but you are worthy simply because God made you. When he created you in your mother’s womb you were worthy. I mean think about it, God chose you to be fertilized and develop to be able to enter into this world. He created you for a plan and a purpose and no matter what you have been through and how you may feel, you are worthy.

You are worthy because you were bought with a price that is priceless. You are worthy because you are a daughter of a king. As I said a little earlier in the post you are worthy simply because God made you. So the next time when you feel inadequate or don’t feel you have sufficient worth remember you were chosen by God himself. Even in the times you feel unchosen by others God still chooses you, loves you and most importantly places great value upon you.

There may be times that no matter how often someone else says you’re worthy, you still don’t think you are. Let me challenge you by giving you an exercise to do daily that will transform those thoughts. I want you to stand up tall, look at yourself in the mirror and say with confidence and like you mean it:
I’m worthy because He made me. I’m chosen, I’m loved and I am a woman of great value. Like I said I’m worthy because He made me.

Remember you are a Worthy Woman!

The Number One Way to Conquer Fear

If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
-Dale Carnegie

It’s hard to believe we are in the second half of the year already. A little less than 6 months to accomplish those goals for 2017. For some there are goals or things that we need to do this year and have allowed fear to hold us back. I know for me I conquered a fear this week and I felt awesome once I did. I will say that I didn’t conquer it alone. To be honest if it was left up to me I may have put it off for a little while longer, but thank God for friends who hold you accountable. I mean good friends who will stretch you and help you reach your fullest potential.

Growing up I always heard the acronym False Evidence Appearing Real when listening to someone talk about fear, but no matter how many times they said it was false evidence appearing real, it felt real and true to me. Sometimes it felt almost paralyzing. As I’ve grown older and gained more experiences I have come to realize the antidote for fear is action.

I know that may not necessarily be the remedy to fear that you were looking for, but that’s it. Action is the number one way to overcome your fear. Whatever that thing is that you need to get done(I don’t mean to sound insensitive but) just do it! The more you do the thing you fear it will get easier and easier each time. Before long it won’t be a fear anymore. So instead of surrendering to fear, call it’s bluff and take action. You’ll see once you’ve done the thing you’ve feared it won’t be as bad as you expected.

There are a couple more acronyms on fear that I heard recently and I think they can be very useful. When fear comes let’s not Forget Everything And Run instead we should Face Everything And Rise. Forgetting everything and running allows you to keep or pacify your fear but Face Everything And Rise causes you to shed that fear like an old layer of skin in order to enjoy the new weightless feeling of being rid of that fear.

So my challenge for you today is to do something this week that you have wanted or needed to do but always allowed fear to hold you back. You have it in you to step out and conquer that fear. I believe in you.

Remember You Are A Worthy Woman!!

Setting SMART Goals

In my previous post Worthy of More I mentioned the acronym SMART goals. I know some of you may have been thinking what is a SMART goal. Well let me explain. SMART stands for: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time Based.

Specific– When creating goals you always want to be as specific as possible. Be very clear about the goal at hand. If you ask for something in general what you receive will be general, so be specific. For example if you send someone to the store to get you a candy bar and they ask you what kind of candy bar, and you say just a candy bar & you receive a candy bar you don’t particularly care for you can’t be upset because you weren’t specific. If you send someone to the store and tell them go bring you back some purple washcloths then your chances of getting the washcloths that you asked for is very likely. So be specific when creating your goals.

Measurable-The goal must be measurable. This will help you in seeing the progression of your goal. Basically you will need to know if you are on track to achieving your goal. Depending on the goal there are various ways to measure your goal. If you are trying to lose weight a good way to measure is by the pounds or inches you lose in a particular amount of time. Maybe you are trying to get out of debt you can measure by how much debt is paid off in a specific amount of time. Which ever way you choose to measure, asking how questions are helpful. Questions such as how many, how much or how long?

Attainable-It must be achievable. For example to say you want to lost 50lbs in 3 months is not an attainable goal nor would it be healthy to attempt. A goal to lose 10lbs in 2 months seems more attainable. Choose goals that you have a chance to succeed in. When I say that I don’t mean choose easy goals but maybe the goal you desire may just take a bit longer but it’s still achievable. Like the example of losing 50 lbs, you can still set the goal to lose 50lbs just give yourself more time to do it in. Also in making sure it’s attainable consider the amount of time you would need available each day or week to move toward achieving the goal. Make sure you have the time available to make this goal happen and if you don’t right now look for gaps in your schedule where you may be able to make time for it.

Realistic– Of course when setting goals the object is to succeed, so setting goals that are realistic are key. It needs to be realistic as far as time, money and effort. If you know you only make $10/hour don’t set a goal to own a BMW in one year or get out of $20,000 in debt in 3 months. Be realistic as you can with your goals.

Time Based– When setting a goal, it needs to have a deadline. You need to realistically give yourself a time when you want to achieve the goal. Make sure when setting a deadline that you don’t give yourself too less or too much time to complete the goal. There are times when the deadline may come sooner because you may have been ahead on your tasks. There are also times when your deadline needs to be pushed back due to unexpected circumstances, but that’s ok. Just keep working toward the goal for the new deadline.

Having SMART goals is key to achieving your goals but there is also one more key component to achieving goals, and that’s writing them down. It has been said that when goals are written they are more likely to be achieved. When writing goals they should be written in present tense and they should include your deadline. For example: I have lost 30lbs by February 1, 2018 or I have completed my book by December 31, 2017.

I want you to know that the sky is the limit! Now let’s go set some goals to achieve!

Remember you are a Worthy Woman!

Are You Satisfied With Your Average?

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Jim Rohn.

If that statement reads true, then would you be satisfied with your average?

I have learned the importance of spending time with the right people. It can really have a significant impact on your life, and can be the difference between success and failure. Maybe you have been friends with someone since you were kids and you used to have so much in common, but as you grew older things began to change. Really you began to change, you began to want more out of life but your friend or friends are content staying right where they are. That’s a crucial time when you have to make a choice. Sometimes this process can be uncomfortable, but absolutely necessary.  You have to choose to remain the same or have the courage to change.

When you’ve grown up with someone and been through ups and downs together, it can be difficult to move on to new things and let go of what you’re used to. It can be like a tug of war, with the back and forth of associating less with the old relationships and moving forward to new ones. I can say, that it’s so freeing to be on a journey of growth and have someone in your corner that understands you instead of someone who tries to keep you from moving forward and growing.

As painful as it may be many times it’s inevitable, because you may risk becoming stagnant if you continue in a close with this person or persons. There is a saying that I’ve heard many times which says “either you will affect them or they will infect you”. Though they may be long time friends is the friendship worth your growth and possibly your success? Sometimes when you make the choice of moving on, you may actually do your friends a favor and they may decide to eventuality begin on the journey of growth as well. Even if they don’t that’s ok in order to gain something new sometimes you must let go of the old. As difficult as it may be, make the necessary decision and move forward to your success. You have in you!

As Always Remember You Are A Worthy Woman!

It’s Ok To Ask For Help

It’s ok to ask for help! One the road to becoming the women of God that we were created to be, we have to learn to ask for help.

It’s so easy to just do everything yourself, and continue trying to be superwoman. I realized just recently that superwoman doesn’t really exist. If she does behind closed doors is, she struggling in secret? I know for me for years I felt that if I asked for help that people would think that I didn’t have it all together. What a relief it was when I let go of that thought process, and learned that sometimes in order to get it together help is required. Even if there are a few who may think you don’t have it all together, that’s ok. Hold your head high and ask for help anyway. At some point in life we have to look beyond what others think and do what’s best for us.

When you ask for help it not only alleviates some pressure but many times it also allows you to gain new knowledge that you wouldn’t have otherwise gained had you continued to do it on your own. It’s like being in a brainstorming session and you have an idea but those you are brainstorming with come up with ideas that you never thought of and you are able to take your original idea even further than you expected. Had that brainstorming session not happened you would still be there at point A trying to figure out the best way to bring the idea to fruition. It’s just the same with asking for help, if you ask you may gain wisdom that can take your life to the next level. Continue reading It’s Ok To Ask For Help

Nobody Better

I love watching movies and finding meaning or quotes in the movie that help with life. There is a Whoopi Goldberg movie that I watched years ago called “Corina Corina”. In that movie one of the actors made a statement and even years later that statement resonates with me. “I am Molly Singer and there is nobody in the world that is better than me” is the statement she made. The statement wasn’t said in a cocky or superior kind of way but simply in a bold and confident kind of way.

That statement says so much in my opinion. I hear it saying even when others don’t think I’m good, I am. Even when I don’t feel like the best, I am. Even when I don’t feel the prettiest, I am. I am confident and I am bold.

If you just took a moment and looked at yourself in the mirror and said I am (insert your name here) and there is no one in the world that is better than me. Making a statement like that exudes confidence immediately. I don’t mean just mumble the statement, but say it like you mean it. Even if you don’t feel like the statement is true at the moment, that’s ok say it anyway. If you say it enough you will begin to believe it.

It’s interesting how we sometimes believe a lie quicker than we believe the truth. I know I may not know you personally and may have never met you, but the truth is, you’re beautiful. No matter what the world says or your teacher said or what even what you say to yourself negatively, you are beautiful and you are worthy ! I want you to always remember that. Even at times when your mind or the enemy is telling you different don’t believe it. I am absolutely positively sure you are beautiful and worthy. No matter what you’ve done or been through those things don’t define who you are.

Let’s begin today by leaving the past in the past and using those obstacles and adversities to make us better not bring us further down. There is a quote which I’m not sure who the author is, that says “repair your broken principles and keep moving forward”. That is my advice for you today, repair or come out of who and what you used to be and come up higher to walk into who God called you to be. No longer driven by your past, but boldly and confidently walking into your future.

You are (insert your name here) and there is no one in the world that is better than you!

Always Remember You Are A Worthy Woman!