With all the social media platforms that we have today, it can be hard to resist the desire to compare. But when I tell you comparison kills confidence please believe me. Just think about it, you’re scrolling through the social media of your choice and see a picture of someone seemingly happy or successful doing something you want to be doing or succeeding in. Then the thoughts begin to run through your mind of how you aren’t where they are or you wish you had ________________. Though it’s an easy trap to fall into it’s not worth the trouble. I would like to shed some light on 4 ways that comparison kills confidence. The four ways are:
1. Feeling of ungratefulness– When we compare we can easily become ungrateful for the things we do have. That’s the problem with looking at what others have and comparing it to what you have or don’t. Sometimes even if we have it good when we compare, we get the illusion that more is necessary to be grateful. If we aren’t grateful for what we have, how can we expect more. This made me think of a quote I recite often when I find myself complaining and ungrateful. The quote says “Complain and remain or praise and be raised”-Joyce Meyer.
2. Causes self doubt– When comparing ourselves to others it can cause self doubt. Doubting whether we’ll ever be good enough, smart enough or even pretty enough to be, do or have what those we are comparing ourselves to has. I’m here to tell you, yes you are enough! Many times it causes us to doubt the gifts and talents that were placed on the inside of us as well, because they haven’t gotten us where we want to be so far. I wonder how more patience, effort and hard work in cultivating our gifts, businesses or relationships would have a positive impact on this area in our lives.
3. Steals your joy– Comparison definitely can steal your joy. I mean how can you be joyful when you aren’t grateful. In my opinion a grateful heart is a joyful heart and when we sense ourselves losing our joy we should first check our gratitude levels.
4. Feelings of unworthiness– Though we should not be defined by what we do or have. Many times comparison causes feelings of unworthiness and sometimes shame. Feeling unworthy because of not being further along in life or even because of life’s setbacks, such as divorce or job loss. Those can be difficult places to be in, especially when you know people who seemingly have it all together. Comparing in my opinion only magnifies these feelings. I know when I first became a single mom I felt some shame, I think because life wasn’t going as I had planned. Also because I was comparing myself to other moms I knew whose marriages were great, but I realized that all that comparing wasn’t productive. So the task to not compare is still difficult at times but I know it’s worth it not to.
Whether comparison has or is causing you feelings of ungratefulness, self doubt, steals your joy or causes feelings of unworthiness or shame it just isn’t worth it. If we take a good look at how many posts on social media aren’t always showing an accurate view of people’s lives anyway,it would be much easier not to fall into the trap of comparison. We were all brought into this earth with all we’ll ever need on the inside of us. No matter where we are in life now or what setbacks we’ve had, we can dust ourselves off, appreciate what we do have and get back on the journey to succeed. I would suggest writing down your goals and what it is that you want, so that you can begin to focus on what it is that you really want instead of what others have. In my opinion when you are going after what you truly desire for your life and get focused on that, it will be so much less difficult to get out of and stay out of the comparison trap. You have what it takes to live your best life and create what success looks like for you. As always remember you are a Worthy Woman.