Month: October 2018

The Storms of Life

There are many times in life when storms come into our lives to keep us from getting to a specific destination. It’s at those times that we must keep pressing toward what it is we’ve set out to accomplish. Once we reach that destination we will be glad we stayed determined to win the fight. This week I wanted to share with you a guest post that I wrote for Blogs by Christian Women where I go in depth regarding the storms of life. The article is titled:

WHAT IS THE STORM TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM?

I think it’s safe to say that we have all been through a storm or two in our lives. Storms that tried to break us and steal our faith. Over the last year or so I have been getting a recurrence of hearing different people talking about the storm that…… click here to read the article 

Take Care of Yourself Like You’d Take Care of Them

On a scale of 1-10 how well do you take care of those you love? Ok, well let me ask you this, On a scale from 1-10 how well do you take care of yourself?

When it comes to taking care of those we love we go to great lengths to do our best at it. Making sure they have everything they need, taking time with them, making sure they take as proper care of themselves as they can and so on. That’s awesome that we are able to do that for them but do you do that for yourself? As women we pour so much into the lives of others that many times we neglect to pour into ourselves.

For the past few months I have seen a recurring theme around the communities I am involved in and that theme in a nutshell is giving from the overflow. We first have to be filled before we can give of ourselves to others. To operate or give to others when you are on empty is extremely draining, yet so many of us are constantly operating this way. Let’s look at the age old example of the instructions given to passengers preparing to take a flight. The instruction is if the plane malfunctions and is possibly going to crash, you are to first put on your oxygen mask and then go help others. You see you can’t help someone else if you aren’t first breathing. The same goes for taking care of others. To be able to continuously take care of others properly you must first take care of you.

Taking care of you by getting the proper rest, having some quiet time alone to do what you enjoy, eating properly not just whatever you can whenever you remember. When I say this I am totaling speaking to myself as well. As a single mom I am guilty of this more often than I’d like to be, but I am working on my commitment to make a change in this area. When my son has an appointment or needs something I am Johnny on the spot to make sure he is there or that I am getting what he needs. When it’s an appointment for me or I need something I’m not so quick to do the same, but I know that in order to continue to take care of him properly I have to do exactly what I am telling you all to do. So I commit to being intentional on taking care of myself better and making me a priority and giving from the overflow. This includes taking quiet time for myself, doing some form of self care daily, and simply pouring into me with as much effort as I do into others.

For some reason as I finished that sentence, I thought about those who think this may be selfish, but actually not taking care of you is selfish. Because as I stated before when we don’t take care of ourselves we become depleted and worn out and it’s so difficult to give someone your very best, if you aren’t at your best. So the next time you think you are being selfish because you are doing something for you, don’t. Remind yourself that you are doing this to be unselfish. I know it will take some getting used to but it will be worth the change when we see in ourselves and perhaps our health positive progress. Just making small changes makes all the difference. Let me know all the success you have with giving from the overflow, I’ll be excited to hear from you.
As always remember, You are a Worthy Woman!

There’s Enough Room For Us All

When you’re in the grocery store and you’re walking down the bread aisle or even the pop isle isn’t it great to know you have options? I mean there are well over 50 brands of bread and as for soft drinks the list seems endless. Just as every brand of bread or pop doesn’t fit the preferences of each person the same goes for whatever gift you have or business you are running. Are you gifted or talented at something but the fact that someone else is doing the same thing make you hesitant to do what it is that you love?

I look at it like this, what if we only had one cell phone company to choose from or better yet one type of residence to live in no matter the size or desires of your family. That would make everyone’s life a bit cookie cutter. We have a buffet if you will of choices when it comes to living preferences and cell phone companies. There is different strokes for different folks, so why is it any difference in you using your gift. Let’s not keep the comparison trap from holding us back from using our gifts. There are millions of people on the planet and when God made one writer, speaker or seamstress he didn’t stop at just one. He made multiple to fit the different needs of the different consumers. The way you write, speak or sew, may be totally different than the way someone else in your field does it, and that’s ok. Don’t let that hinder you from moving, you keep using your gift and use it to the best of your ability, just the way you do it. I mean of course you should always be practicing your craft to get better at it, but keep your own style don’t try to be a duplicate of someone else and their business.

There is always room to get advice from others in your field and maybe even collaborate at times, but don’t for one minute think that you can’t move forward because someone else is in the same field that you are in. Just as a woman would like to have choices when it comes to the type of guy she chooses to spend the rest of her life with, the millions of consumers in the world likes options too. There is and will always be enough room for us all no matter what your field is. The next time you get a bit discouraged about making moves because there are many people in your field, take a look down the toilet paper, bread or soft drink aisle, and the plenty of choices you have to choose from and say to yourself “There is room for me”! As always remember You Are a Worthy Woman!

The Importance Of A Rest Day

Have you ever had those weeks where you are so busy that you can barely hear yourself think? I know I have more of those weeks than I care to admit. Then there are times when I seem to have clusters of those types of weeks at one time. Days where it seems that no rest is in sight. Though those types of weeks are ok periodically, if it’s out of the norm not to have them then it’s probably time to adjust some things. I’ve learned the hard way that if you don’t take rest, your body will take one for you. When I say that I know it sounds cliché, but really your body will take it’s own rest if you don’t take rest on your own. Trust me I know.

This is really something that I am working on incorporating into my life, and if you don’t currently get rest often, I suggest you do the same. As women we need to really make self-care a priority. Resting is definitely a good form of self-care in my opinion. Not only resting our bodies but resting our minds. It’s so refreshing, and it’s like hitting the reset button. Take some time to just relax, watch a movie, go for a walk long walk and just enjoy the scenery. If none of those things are relaxing or restful to you, take your pick on what is relaxing and restful to you. Is it having a sit down dinner with your family, taking a long hot bubble bath or maybe even curling up with a journal and writing to your heart’s content. Whatever it is that relaxes you, do that and hit your own reset button.

So how does one begin to break the habit of extreme busyness? Well if you’re a busy body like me, this could be a hard task. I came up with a few different ideas that may help you and I, get into the new habit of taking some time to rest. The first idea is to choose a day of the week that works for you where you can clear your calendar and take some well deserved you time or family time(but if you take family time be sure the also get some you time as well). This doesn’t have to be a day where you do absolutely nothing, but my goal is to reserve the day to do what relaxes me. If it  feels like work, then my relax day is not the day that I’ll be doing it. When you are so used to being busy this may take some getting use to, but just do it anyway. The more relaxed and refreshed you feel after each time you do it, should you make want to keep this high on your priority list or even make it a non negotiable in your life.

If you aren’t able to take a full day to rest take then take a few hours. Block out some time and schedule this as an appointment on your calendar. Don’t schedule anything else during this time. Treat this appointment with yourself, as you would an important doctor’s appointment or a business meeting at work. Just as you would do everything you could not to cancel or reschedule those type of appointments, do the same with your rest appointment. Make it a priority!

For those who aren’t able to take a few hours because of your caregiver duties or whatever the case may be. I suggest that you take a minimum of 30 minutes everyday just for you. Some time to clear your mind and relax and do something that’s just for you. Since you are only able to take a little time each day, I really recommend that this time be non negotiable on your calendar. Making it non negotiable will allow you to make sure it’s done daily and gives you some sort of rejuvenation.

Taking time for ourselves is not selfish at all, I actually think taking me time is a selfless act. It not only allows you to reset, it’s also beneficial for those you care for or interact with often. I find that when we don’t get any kind of time for ourselves it can make us irritable and it is definitely draining. So even if a full day of rest isn’t possible take some time each day just for you, to get some rest. It’s not just for you but for those you love as well. As always remember you are a Worthy Woman!

4 Ways Comparison Kills Confidence

With all the social media platforms that we have today, it can be hard to resist the desire to compare. But when I tell you comparison kills confidence please believe me. Just think about it, you’re scrolling through the social media of your choice and see a picture of someone seemingly happy or successful doing something you want to be doing or succeeding in. Then the thoughts begin to run through your mind of how you aren’t where they are or you wish you had ________________. Though it’s an easy trap to fall into it’s not worth the trouble. I would like to shed some light on 4 ways that comparison kills confidence. The four ways are:

1. Feeling of ungratefulness– When we compare we can easily become ungrateful for the things we do have. That’s the problem with looking at what others have and comparing it to what you have or don’t. Sometimes even if we have it good when we compare, we get the illusion that more is necessary to be grateful. If we aren’t grateful for what we have, how can we expect more. This made me think of a quote I recite often when I find myself complaining and ungrateful. The quote says “Complain and remain or praise and be raised”-Joyce Meyer.

2. Causes self doubt– When comparing ourselves to others it can cause self doubt. Doubting whether we’ll ever be good enough, smart enough or even pretty enough to be, do or have what those we are comparing ourselves to has. I’m here to tell you, yes you are enough! Many times it causes us to doubt the gifts and talents that were placed on the inside of us as well, because they haven’t gotten us where we want to be so far. I wonder how more patience, effort and hard work in cultivating our gifts, businesses or relationships would have a positive impact on this area in our lives.

3. Steals your joy– Comparison definitely can steal your joy. I mean how can you be joyful when you aren’t grateful. In my opinion a grateful heart is a joyful heart and when we sense ourselves losing our joy we should first check our gratitude levels.

4. Feelings of unworthiness– Though we should not be defined by what we do or have. Many times comparison causes feelings of unworthiness and sometimes shame. Feeling unworthy because of not being further along in life or even because of life’s setbacks, such as divorce or job loss. Those can be difficult places to be in, especially when you know people who seemingly have it all together. Comparing in my opinion only magnifies these feelings. I know when I first became a single mom I felt some shame, I think because life wasn’t going as I had planned. Also because I was comparing myself to other moms I knew whose marriages were great, but I realized that all that comparing wasn’t productive. So the task to not compare is still difficult at times but I know it’s worth it not to.

Whether comparison has or is causing you feelings of ungratefulness, self doubt, steals your joy or causes feelings of unworthiness or shame it just isn’t worth it. If we take a good look at how many posts on social media aren’t always showing an accurate view of people’s lives anyway,it would be much easier not to fall into the trap of comparison. We were all brought into this earth with all we’ll ever need on the inside of us. No matter where we are in life now or what setbacks we’ve had, we can dust ourselves off, appreciate what we do have and get back on the journey to succeed. I would suggest writing down your goals and what it is that you want, so that you can begin to focus on what it is that you really want instead of what others have. In my opinion when you are going after what you truly desire for your life and get focused on that, it will be so much less difficult to get out of and stay out of the comparison trap. You have what it takes to live your best life and create what success looks like for you. As always remember you are a Worthy Woman.